This is 40!

Well, I’ve officially entered my 40s, and let me tell you, it’s a whole vibe. My 40th birthday wasn’t marked by some dramatic, life-changing revelation (except for the fact that I’m embracing my new “soft girl” era). Instead, it felt more like I was finally putting on my favorite cozy sweater and realizing it’s okay to slow down. I’m talking less hustle, more naps, more self-care, and most importantly—no more settling for crumbs.

So, as I reflect on my 30s, the hustle hard years that brought me to where I am today, I’ve learned a few things. And while I’m excited for the future, I’ve come to realize that the lessons I picked up in my 30s are what really set the stage for this new, softer chapter in my life. Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. The 30s Were All About Hustle—The 40s Are About Balance

In my 30s, it felt like I had to do it all. Full-time job, side hustles, raising kids, pretending I had it all together—it was exhausting! But in my 40s, I’m officially embracing balance. I’m learning that success doesn’t mean burnout, and peace doesn’t mean perfection. My mantra now? Balance is the new hustle. I’m slowing down, learning to say no (without guilt), and finally recognizing that rest is just as important as work. Plus, I’ve discovered that napping is a sacred ritual, and my “to-do” list doesn’t need to be a mile long to prove I’m successful.

2. Your 30s Teach You Who’s Worth Your Time—Your 40s Teach You How to Protect It

In your 30s, you’re still figuring out who’s meant to be in your circle. By the time you hit 40, you’ve got the wisdom to know exactly who deserves your energy. The real magic? Learning how to protect your time. No more wasting it on people who only bring drama, negativity, or—let’s be real—don’t even return your texts. My 40s are all about quality over quantity, and if you’re not bringing good vibes, you’re not getting a seat at my table anymore. I’m setting boundaries, loving myself first, and not settling for crumbs—because I’m a whole buffet, honey.

3. Your Body Starts Giving You Honest Feedback

Oh, the body. My body parts are giving me feedback I didn’t ask for. My knees are like, “You’re 50, right?” They crack and pop with every step I take, like they’re about to start a Go-Go band. My ankles? Oh, they’re 65. They creak when I walk, and sometimes I feel like I need to apologize to them. And my back? Well, my back is 80. It’s been putting in overtime for years, and now, it’s like, “Girl, we need a break.” But the best part? I’m finally listening. I’ve decided to go alcohol-free, and let me tell you, my body loves that decision. No more hangovers, no more bloat, and my energy levels have leveled up. So, while my knees are cracking like an old wooden floor, I’m giving my body what it really needs—rest, hydration, and a little less booze. Because if I’m going to keep up with my 9-year-old, my body better be on board.

4. Aging Is the Ultimate Flex

Let’s be real. When I hit 40, I was low-key nervous. I had visions of getting a million wrinkles overnight or turning into my grandmother—whom I adore, but wasn’t ready to become just yet. But you know what? Aging has been kind of empowering. I’m at a place where I’m owning my age with pride. My skin might not be as tight as it used to be, but my wisdom is. I’m embracing the lines, the grey hairs in odd places, and the little things that show I’ve lived a full life. No more hiding behind filters—this is me, this is 40, and I’m thriving!

5. My "Soft Girl" Era Is All About Being Soft with Myself (And My Calendar)

In my 30s, I was all about the hustle and doing it all. But now, in my 40s, I’m focusing on peace and prioritizing my comfort. That means setting boundaries, saying no to things that don’t serve me, and putting myself first. I’m in my “soft girl” era, where my calendar no longer looks like a never-ending list of tasks, and I’m learning to embrace the slow, relaxed moments. If I want to rest, I’ll rest. If I want to indulge in some retail therapy (online, because who has time for the mall?), I’ll do that too. This new chapter is about being kind to myself, listening to my body, and not pushing myself too hard.

6. The Best Part? I’m Just Getting Started

As I reflect on the last decade, I realize how much I’ve learned, how much I’ve grown, and how much I’ve come to appreciate the simple things. My 40s feel like the beginning of something beautiful, not the end of anything. I’m stepping into this new phase of life with confidence, knowing that it’s okay to slow down, to prioritize myself, and to be unapologetically me. I’m ready for what’s next, and I’m excited for the adventures that lie ahead.

Dear Brown Girl,

Turning 40 is not a deadline—it’s a new chapter. You don’t have to have it all figured out, and you definitely don’t have to be perfect. Embrace the journey, celebrate your growth, and be kind to yourself. You’re in your soft era now, and you deserve every bit of peace, joy, and grace that comes your way.

With Infinite Love Always, Your Truest Self 🖤🤎